The Monday Morning Building Product Advisor
Issue #139

Back in 1974, two researchers showed 45 students a film of a car crash and then asked them one question: “About how fast were the cars going when they hit each other?”

Except they didn’t use the word “hit” with everyone.

Some heard “smashed into.” Others heard “bumped,” “collided with,” or “contacted.” It was the same footage and the same crash, but only one word was different.

The people who were asked about cars that “smashed into” each other guessed 40.8 miles per hour. Those who heard “contacted” said 31.8.

That’s a 9-mile-an-hour difference, all because of one stinkin’ word.

That’s the famous part of this study I recently learned about, but it’s not the part I want you to focus on. Elizabeth Loftus and John Palmer did a second experiment with 150 students and the same film. A week later, they asked a simple yes-or-no question: “Did you see any broken glass?”

The thing is, there was no broken glass in that film.

Of the group who’d been asked the “smashed into” question, 32% said yes, they’d seen it. The “hit” group came in at 14%. And in the control group, who were never asked about speed, 12% said they saw broken glass.

Again, just one word in a question asked a week earlier made 1/3 of them remember broken glass that wasn’t there.

So, what’s this gotta’ do with you & architects?

You walk into a meeting with an idea. You’ve done your homework and think this firm is losing hours on submittal reviews. So you ask:

“How much of a problem has submittal turnaround been for your team?”

It sounds reasonable, but it isn’t.

Before you cringe, that question is exactly what you were taught. Every discovery module in every sales training I’ve seen builds questions like that, because a question with only one answer feels efficient. It’s the training that’s the problem, not your instincts.

The problem with that question is that it doesn’t give the architect a way to disagree. The only answers are “it’s a problem” or “it’s a big problem.” Here’s what we do when we get a question like that.

We agree.

It’s not that we’re being pushovers.

It’s just that telling someone we barely know, “Actually, that’s not a problem for us,” when it’s obvious your whole presentation depends on it, feels a bit rude. And we’re not going to be rude about something we haven’t really thought much about.

So we give you the small win. […that’s not really a win… We’ll get to why in a minute…]

Survey researchers call this acquiescence bias, or yea-saying. It’s when people agree with a question no matter what it says. One common explanation for why we all do this isn’t very flattering: we’re just trying to avoid the questioner’s disapproval.

Then the Loftus problem makes it worse. We don’t just agree with you. We start looking for reasons to agree, and we always find something, because every firm has had a rough month with submittals at some point.

So now, all of a sudden, I’m telling you about a submittal problem I didn’t consider a problem until you asked.

In other words, your question didn’t find the pain point. It created it.

There’s a name for the fix, too.

The standard correction for acquiescence bias in survey research is to use “balanced wording.”

You build the question so that a “no” is just as clear an option as “yes.”

That’s the “exit.” It turns out what I’ve been teaching you is actually a survey methodology fix, and I never realized it had a name.

So, here’s that same question from above, with an exit built into it:

“Some firms your size tell us submittal turnaround has turned into a real drain on CA. Has that been your experience, or has your team got that running pretty well?”

Notice what’s different.

Now, the pain is about other firms, so agreeing doesn’t mean I’m admitting anything about my own. Plus, there’s another answer I can give easily.

Now it’s easy for me to say no.

That’s the whole point, and it works for a reason you already know from good conversations: people rarely doubt a conclusion they reach themselves. They doubt the ones that are given to them.

So if I say yes, you learn something that’s actually true. If I say no, you also get a true answer, which is more than you’d get from the first version of the question.

There’s also a third thing that can happen, and it’s actually the “holy grail” you’re aiming for. Sometimes the architect takes the exit, and then something unexpected happens.

They keep talking.

“Honestly, submittals are fine. What’s killing us is the [glazing/hardware/etc.] package.”

You’ve just been given the real problem, unprompted, by someone who had a free way out and told you anyway. That’s what it looks like when an architect has decided you can be trusted with something.

And that almost never happens with a question that corners us.

The part that comes a-callin’ later

Getting a yes that isn’t honest or accurate wastes your sales efforts.

That’s the obvious cost, but it’s actually the smaller issue. The real cost shows up later, maybe in Week 5, when that architect checks their submittal log or talks to the PA who handles them and realizes the issue isn’t what they thought it was.

Now, they see the problem wasn’t real, and you’re the one who made them believe it was.

But the other side of that coin is true, too.

And it’s an even better reason to give us an exit. When you’re the product rep whose questions leave room for me to say “no,” you’re much more likely to get honest answers.

Eventually, we start telling you things before you ask.

One more thing about 1974

The verb did the work in that study.

It wasn’t the researcher’s warmth or rapport. And it wasn’t whether those students liked them. One word in a question changed the answer by nine miles an hour.

I mention that because being charming won’t get you to the truth. I’ve seen genuinely likable reps collect polite agreement for years and never hear what was actually wrong. If you want to find the truth, build those exits into your questions.

This is something you can start using right now.

It’s not about personality. It’s about the sentences you use.

Here’s what to do with this idea this week

Look at the question you usually start with… You know… the one you’ve probably asked about 40 times this year. Now, add an exit option at the end.

“…or has that been manageable for you?”

“…or has your team already got that solved?”

“…or is that not how it’s going on your projects?”

Then comes the hard part. And, yes, I know… It’s tough for me to do, too. But if the architect takes the exit option you give them, you’ve got to let them take it.

And be prepared to move on without that hypothesis you came in with.

Key Takeaways:

• There’s an easy way to spot when you’ve asked a question with no way out: The answer comes back quickly and sounds agreeable. Real pain makes us pause because we’re actually thinking it over. A quick, friendly yes usually means the architect is just being polite, not accurate.

• Having an exit option at the end of your question is what makes the first part of it work. Saying something like, “Some firms your size tell us…,” sounds curious, not like a setup, only when there’s a real second answer at the end. Without that option, the question just feels like a trap.

• Loftus spent her career studying how questions change what people remember, mostly in courtrooms. This connects to your work because architects and eyewitnesses do the same thing in meetings. We try to recall details while someone who wants a specific answer sits across from us.

• A few newsletters ago, we looked at a 1971 soft drink study that showed doing someone an unexpected favor outperformed being liked. Today’s newsletter shows that a single word can matter more than the person asking. I think that’s the main point here: the method does more work than personality, and it’s something you can actually practice.

One last thing…

If you ever find yourself in a parking lot with 5 minutes before a meeting and no idea how to start without sounding like a customer survey, I’ve got the perfect shortcut for you.

A few months ago, I put together a bank of 21 questions using this exact structure: the pattern, the pain, and an option at the end of each one. If you joined this list recently, you probably haven’t seen it yet. Or maybe you ignored it last time.

Whatevs!

If you want it, just reply with the word “EXIT,” and I’ll send it to you.

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That's it for this week!

Here's to building more than just buildings, and see you next week,

Neil "No broken glass" Sutton
​Architect | Speaker | The Product Rep Coach

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P.S. If you're getting this newsletter, it means you either replied with "KEEP" last week or my system shows you've at least been opening my emails. (YAY!)

And for those who replied last week, THANK YOU!. I'll be sending your surprise in the next day or two, plus I'll also be choosing 3 of you who also shared a current problem you're having for a free 30-minute call to work through it together. I'll reach out to the winners soon to schedule our call! Thanks again!

P.P.S. Do you really want inside an architect's head?

When you’re ready, there are 3 ways you can start working with me:

• Product reps: If you want to be better at connecting with architects, reply and let's chat.
• Business owners or Team Leaders: You can book an Architect Connections Training for your team. Reply, and I'll send you the details.
• Speaking: If you would like me to present at an upcoming sales meeting, get in touch, and let’s talk!

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