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#065 – Why my son rings church doorbells (and what it means for your firm visits)

By Neil Sutton

NICHOLAS: “Well, I’m heading out to try and practice.”

ME: “Where at?”

NICHOLAS: “The church down the street.”

ME: “Do you have access?”

NICHOLAS: “The first step is ringing the doorbell…”

That one line stuck with me.

See, my son Nicholas is 21 and studying the pipe organ in college. One of his more niche hobbies is visiting churches and asking if he can use their organ to practice.

Some churches know him already and let him in no problem.

But with others he has to start from scratch:

  • Ring the doorbell…
  • Explain who he is…
  • And earn their trust before they let him near their [very old & expensive] instrument.

But he doesn’t show up empty-handed.

Last week, he came home from a new church and said:


“They told me it was playing ‘a bit cranky.’ After I tried it, I told them they just needed someone to adjust the… [insert pipe-organ lingo I couldn’t understand].”


In other words, he diagnosed their problem. He impressed them with his knowledge. Then, he became someone they wanted to let in.

And if you’re a product rep trying to build relationships with architects…

You’re like my Nicholas.

And the firm’s receptionist… that’s your church doorbell.

Step 1: Ring the doorbell with something valuable

Gatekeepers aren’t just there to keep you out.

They’re there to protect their firm’s most precious asset: their architects’ focus.

So when you approach them, show that you’re not just another rep asking for time. You’re someone with something worth sharing.

Try saying:


“Hi, I’m [Name] with [Company]. We provide [specific material] that helps with [specific architectural challenge]. I have a quick summary on [a relevant topic like code updates, LEED docs, fast detailing, or cost-saving alternates]. What’s the best way to share it with the right person on your team?”


A rep I know got in with a major firm by hosting a tailored lunch-and-learn. The topic covered antimicrobial surfaces for healthcare projects. It also included AIA credits.

A subscriber to this here newsletter told me they also have a “menu” of shorter updates they can offer. Or select from on the fly once they have a feel for how much time they’ll get.

Nicholas brings sound and quick diagnoses. You can bring value.

Step 2: Treat the gatekeeper like your first client

Let me tell you a little secret.

At one architecture firm where I worked, the receptionist had a private list behind the desk.

Two columns.

Good reps. | Time-wasters.

Guess which group got passed through?

She told me: “I can tell in 10 seconds if someone sees me as a person or just an obstacle.”

Do you know what puts you on the “good” list?

Ask them how you can make their job easier.

Not just “Can I leave these brochures?” but:

“Which kinds of projects are you seeing right now? I can leave something more tailored.”

Or:

“I know you get a lot of reps. What’s the best way to stay helpful without being a bother?”

Respect breeds access.

And sometimes, it’s best to drop off specification packets organized by CSI division. Not just a pile of glossy folders. […and, sad as it sounds, a dozen donuts or cupcakes for the office can sweeten the deal, too.]

Step 3: Go from annoying pest to welcome guest

Nicholas doesn’t just play once and disappear.

He builds enough trust to get regular access. Sometimes his own key.

You can do the same. [Well, probably not the key part…]

Most reps give up after 2–3 contacts. Research shows it can take 7 to 8 meaningful touchpoints to get your product specified.

Here’s a simple cadence you can test:

  • Week 1: Drop-off or first contact
  • Week 2: Follow-up email with something project-specific
  • Week 3: Send targeted case study or samples
  • Week 6: Share a relevant code update or article
  • Week 8: Invite to CEU or value-add event
  • Week 12: Introduce a new innovation or material

Each step adds value. Builds trust. Moves the relationship forward.

A rep I know became the go-to for a major architecture firm I worked at. We didn’t always use his product, but he was the one we trusted for quick answers. And for working through details.

Be that rep.

The Big Idea

Treat the receptionist like the church doorbell.

Bring value before you ask for anything. Respect the process. Follow up like a pro… not a pushy seller.

Because when you show up like a trusted advisor…

You don’t need to beg for meetings.

They start calling you.

That’s it for this week!

Cheers to building more than just buildings, and see you next week,

Neil “donuts-are-for-winners” Sutton
Architect | Speaker | Coach to Building Product Reps

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