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What if you’re missing the most important part of every sale?
Last week, I watched our old pal, Frazzled Frank, the Product Rep, lose a deal in real-time.
Frank was sweating through his dress shirt [again]. He was flipping through his product catalog. On the Zoom call, Overwhelmed Olivia, the Architect, was running on two hours of sleep. She faced three overdue projects and had downed at least four cups of espresso. She was politely nodding but not engaging.
Frank had the perfect product for her project. Olivia even said, “That’s interesting.”[Which is Archi-speak for she only heard half of what he said.]
The call ended politely, with Olivia saying, “Let me think about it.” Frank hung up, hopeful.
But as we know, “let me think about it” is usually code for “you’ll never hear from me again.”
What went wrong?
Frank never uncovered Olivia’s real pain.
Don’t hover at the surface! By that, I mean don’t just talk about features, lead times, and compliance. Dig into what’s really frustrating the architect. If you stop short of that, you could stop the spec (and the sale) from moving forward.
Today, let’s make sure that doesn’t happen to you.
I’ll show you a simple, 3-step routine. We’ll mix the Sandler Selling Method with a direct approach architects actually respond to.
Step 1: Ask open-ended questions, then use “negative reverse”
Frank’s first mistake was leading with a weak, vague question, like, “How’s business? Whatcha’ working on these days?”
Olivia gave a predictable, guarded response like: “Oh, just the usual. Keeping busy!”
Not particularly helpful.
Instead, open with something unexpected, like, “What’s the biggest project headache you’ve faced this year?”
Then, here’s the key: Pause for three seconds. (No matter how awkward it feels.) And, if they try to brush you off again, you could gently push with a “negative reverse”:
- Bad approach: “Come on, you must have some problems!” [too aggressive]
- Better approach: “Really? I’m surprised. Most architects I talk to have at least one tricky code issue driving them crazy. Nothing like that on your end?” [said casually, not like a detective on a cop show]
Here’s what this could look like…
- Frazzled Frank, the Product Rep: “Nothing at all? That’s rare. Most architects I talk to are pulling their hair out over energy codes.”
- Overwhelmed Olivia, the Architect: “Well.… yeah. Actually, those new codes are causing a lot of stress on this project.”
Boom! Now we’re getting somewhere.
Try it on your next call. If you get a too-quick “everything’s fine,” calmly challenge it and see what happens.
Step 2: Probe for emotional & professional impact
Frank made a second mistake. He stayed too technical. Meanwhile, Olivia was quietly panicking. She worried about deadlines, client expectations, and her reputation.
Architects aren’t just worried about specs. They’re anxious about:
- Client pressures
- Professional reputation
- Protecting the original design vision (whether it’s theirs or another architect’s)
If you can tap into these deeper struggles, you build trust FAST.
Questions to ask:
- “How has this issue affected your client relationship?”
- “That sounds really stressful. Has it impacted your project timeline or your original design goals?”
Architects rarely get empathy from product reps. Validating their frustrations first makes them see you as a true partner. Not just another vendor.
Let’s take a look at how this plays out for Frank…
- Frazzled Frank: [empathetically] “Wow, that must have hit you hard. Especially if you were aiming for that more modern look.”
- Overwhelmed Olivia: [opens up, looking relieved] “Yeah… I haven’t slept well in weeks because of it. I don’t suppose your product can help us meet these codes AND keep the design intact?”
Ding ding ding. Now, Olivia is leading Frank to the solution.
Step 3: Confirm the core pain and who else is involved
Frank’s final mistake was jumping to his pitch too early.
Just because Olivia mentioned the energy codes doesn’t mean it was her main issue. Or that she was the only decision-maker.
Before pitching, you should confirm:
- “Is this the biggest concern right now, or is something else even more pressing?”
- “Do other stakeholders, like the owner or contractor, have concerns that might take priority?”
Notice what’s happening:
- It avoids wasting time on the wrong pain point.
- It shows you understand how architects really make decisions.
- You don’t get blindsided by a surprise veto from the owner.
Here’s Frank & Olivia again…
- Frazzled Frank: [clarifying, pen ready] “So, is your main concern energy code compliance? Or does the owner have a bigger concern?”
- Overwhelmed Olivia: [pauses, clearly stressed] “Actually… no. The biggest problem is the owner’s strict budget. He might kill the spec entirely if it costs too much.”
- Frazzled Frank: [relieved he asked] “Got it. Let’s focus on costs first, then circle back to lead times and code compliance.”
Daily “Pain” Discovery Checklist
Want to put this into practice right away? Here’s a quick daily checklist to track your progress:
Date: ___________
- Open-Ended Questions. Did I prepare at least one strong open-ended question?
- Negative Reverse. Did I use a “negative reverse” to uncover deeper issues?
- Notes Using Exact Words. Did I write down at least one direct quote from the architect?
- 3-Second Pause. Did I pause awkwardly (three seconds) for a deeper answer?
- Emotional or Professional Impact. Did I ask how the issue affected their timeline, budget, or team?
- Validate Their Concern. Did I confirm the architect’s concerns clearly?
- Identified One Key Pain. Did I circle or underline a critical issue they emphasized?
- Multiple Shareholders. Did I identify who else is involved in the decision?
- Refrained from Rushing Into Solutions. Did I wait until they finished describing the problem before mentioning any fix?
- Reflected on My Performance. Spent 1 minute noting what went well and one tweak for next time.
REMEMBER: The more boxes you check, the better you get at uncovering real pain.
What to do next
- On your next call, test ONE “negative reverse” if you get surface-level responses.
- Don’t pitch prematurely. Instead, ask: “Who else needs to weigh in on this decision?”
Architects juggle long timelines, design integrity, and multiple stakeholders. If you want to sell effectively:
- Show empathy
- Ask deeper questions
- Know when (and how) to push back gently
If you master this, you’ll move past surface-level conversations and start closing deals that address real pain points.
Next week, we’ll talk about Budget, the next part of the Sandler System. I’ll show you simple ways to talk about costs, pricing, and value with architects and their project teams.
And, if you’re behind on our series about applying the Sandler System to your product rep business, go to suttoncopywriting.com/category/newsletters/ and check out #55 thru #57.
That’s it for this week!
Cheers to your next big win, and see you next week,
Neil Sutton
Architect | Speaker | Coach to Architectural Product Reps
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P.S. If you like Monday Morning Building Product Advisor, please share this or forward it to a colleague. Help another rep stop wasting time and learn to find their ideal architect client.
Want help finding your ideal architect’s pain?
I work with reps 1-on-1 to refine this.
Schedule a 30-min strategy call here → Book a 1-on-1 Zoom meeting
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