The Monday Morning Building Product Advisor
​Issue #119

My oldest daughter, Rebecca, used to hand me her video game controller when things got too hard.

I didn’t take over or play the whole game for her. I just helped her get past the part where she was stuck, so she could return to the part she enjoyed. She stayed beside me, watched what I was doing, and helped make decisions. We worked through it together. Once we got past the tough spot, she took the controller back and kept playing.

My other two kids did the same thing when they were younger.

“What the heck’s this gotta’ do with connecting with architects?!?”

Well, I’m glad you asked, Grumpy-pants…

Architects (like me) don’t always remember the reps who bring in the best lunches.

(…pastries, maybe…)

Anyway! What was I saying… Oh yeah!

We remember the ones who showed up for us when things got a bit complicated.

For example, when the details got a little too complex for me, or when value engineering threatened the designer’s vision, or when I wasn’t sure how to answer the RFI properly.

What you do in those moments shapes whether I see you as just a vendor or something more.

Today, I want to show you what it looks like when you handle these situations the right way.

Let’s get started.

You don’t have to be there for every level. Just the hard ones.

My kids didn’t need me to play the whole game.

They needed me for one thing: the part where they were stuck. You don’t need to be in front of architects at every stage of a project. You just need to be helpful at the right time, which is when things have stalled.

That could be:

• The spec for a system I’ve never detailed before.

• A value-engineering fight I don’t have the ammunition to win.

• A contractor misreads the installation requirements, possibly compromising the entire system’s performance.

When you’re there for them at the right moment with the answer, you become the person I call first next time. That’s how the relationship changes, and you stop being just a vendor.

Always be collaborative, not transactional.

Just in case you missed it…

When Rebecca gave me the controller, she stayed in the room. She helped think through the approach and made strategy decisions while I played.

When you’re working through a tough specification with an architect, don’t just answer their questions. Work with them. They bring the design ideas, and you bring the technical knowledge. Neither of you can do it alone.

So instead of giving a rehearsed pitch, start by asking a question: “Where are you stuck?”

Then listen.

Your job is to build them up, not make them dependent on you.

Each of my kids eventually reached a point where they no longer needed my help. 😢

They got better at playing the game and improved their hand-eye coordination. They learned to solve the problems I used to help with. That can feel like a loss, but if you have grown kids, you know it isn’t.

It’s the goal.

If you keep information to yourself, hide technical details, or act like you’re the only one with answers, you might keep the relationship going, but you won’t make it stronger.

You’re playing a short game.

Share your knowledge freely. If you explain why things work the way they do and make sure the architect learns something new each time, you’ll build a relationship that grows over time.

The architect who used to call you every time they needed to specify your product now comes up with their own solutions. They specify things correctly, get the details right, and write performance specs that hold throughout construction.

That’s the highest compliment you can receive.

We’ll still ask for your help with the tough problems we can’t solve on our own. We’ll also send our colleagues to you for the same kind of support.

We know from experience that you’re the person to call when things get tough.

You don’t get credit, and that’s the whole point.

My kids would always finish the game on their own and feel good about the win.

My name usually wasn’t in the credits, and that was fine.

The same goes for you.

Architects present the project and sign the drawings. We sit in the owner’s conference room and explain the design intent. The rep who helped us figure out a complicated building envelope detail, or who spent an afternoon working through a coordination problem or getting a submittal package across the finish line, doesn’t get an honorable mention in the presentations.

If you need public recognition or want the architect to give you credit, you’re focusing on the wrong thing.

What should really matter to you is that we remember. Architects remember who helped us when things were tough. We remember who got us unstuck and stayed on the call until the problem was solved, without ever bringing up their commission.

That memory is worth more than any credit line.

The bittersweet part is actually the reward.

When my last kid stopped needing help with a video game, a couple of things went through me…

I felt proud that they could handle things on their own, but I also realized that a chapter had ended.

You’ll feel this too if you do this job right.

The architect who once needed your help with every detail now knows the answers. They’ve learned what you taught them. It feels a little bittersweet until you realize what it really means.

It means you built something with them.

And it almost always means one more thing: when something hard comes along, they’re not calling around.

They’re calling you.

That's it for this week!

Here's to building more than just buildings, and see you next week,

Neil "Is it my turn yet?" Sutton
​Architect | Speaker | The Product Rep Coach

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P.S. Do you really want inside an architect's head?

When you’re ready, there are 3 ways you can start working with me:

• Product reps: If you want to be better at connecting with architects, reply, and let's chat.
• Business owners or Team Leaders: You can book an Architect Connections Training for your team. Reply, and I'll send you the details.
• Speaking: If you need me to present at an upcoming group meeting, get in touch, and let’s talk!

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