The Monday Morning Building Product Advisor
​Issue #121

Your competition doesn’t need a better product to beat you.

It can simply be that they have a better connection with the architect, GC, or developer you thought was your client. To fix this, here’s an easy way to be the most trusted rep in your market. (Without making every conversation a sales pitch.)

Build stronger relationships. Be so valuable to your clients that leaving you feels like losing a trusted friend, not just changing vendors. Hosting a dinner series is one of the best ways to do this.

A simple, recurring dinner series can create something your competitors can’t buy. When I wrote about this two years ago, I found that the biggest obstacle for most people is the cost.

Let’s address that first.

Step 1: Find a partner who’ll help you pay for it (and come out ahead themselves)

The good news is you don’t have to cover the cost of your dinner series alone.

Ideally, you can find a strategic partner to share the costs and get the same benefit you do.

A few years ago, I heard Jack Born, a strategist who studies business partnerships, share a story that stuck with me. He was a financial advisor trying to build a referral relationship with a local attorney. He sent her clients, but when it was her turn to return the favor, she always seemed to get “selective amnesia.”

Sound familiar?

So he tried a new approach. He didn’t ask for referrals. Instead, he called her and said, “I recently held a client appreciation event. It went really well. I know you’ve been meaning to do something like that for yours. What if I helped you put one on? I’ll handle all the logistics and split the cost with you. All you have to do is show up.”

She said yes before he finished talking.

He left that meeting with the names and addresses of 75 to 100 of her top clients. He sent the invitations on her letterhead. This gave him a strong, implicit endorsement to everyone on her list. Co-sponsoring the event helped him gain trust. And, he was able to connect with a bunch of pre-qualified prospects he wouldn’t have met otherwise.

This is the sponsorship model, and it works just as well for architectural product sales.

Think about who works with your ideal clients before you do. Maybe it’s…

• The SAAS vendor for architectural software
• A construction lender
• A non-competing manufacturer’s rep with products that complement yours.
• An AIA chapter director looking to add value for members.

Any of these could be a good co-sponsorship opportunity, and they all have clients you want to reach.

Your pitch isn’t just asking for help with dinner costs. Instead, say: “I want to host a special evening for our common clients. I’ll take care of the venue, invitations, seating, and follow-up. I’d love for this to be something we do together for the people we both serve.”

That’s usually an easy yes, especially if you tie the dinner to a charitable cause.

You could donate some of the evening’s proceeds or the admission fee from a related event. Consider giving to a local trade education program, a Habitat for Humanity build, or another cause your partner supports. This changes the dynamic. Now, you’re offering a chance to do something meaningful for clients and the community, not just co-sponsoring a networking dinner.

Most people will say yes to that.

Now... before I go any further, let me tell you where this big, fancy-schmancy idea about the dinners is coming from.

Because I know what some of you are thinking. "Sounds great, Neil… in theory. Have you actually done this yourself?"

I wish I could say yes... But I’ve recommended this approach to several firms that I’ve worked for. And they always smile, nod, and politely set it aside. It’s either too unconventional, too slow, or too hard to measure for ROI.

I get it. But here’s why I keep recommending it anyway.

One of my mentors is Brian Kurtz. Brian co-hosted over 150 of the original Boardroom Dinners alongside Marty Edelston. These are the dinners this whole approach is built on. He has seen, up close, how this type of relationship-building impacts a business over the years. Not in theory, but in practice, with outcomes he can point to.

So what I’m sharing here isn’t something I dreamed up.

It’s a battle-tested method, passed down by someone who has seen it succeed for years and still uses it. It’s criminally underused in the design and construction industry. And the reason I’m writing to you directly is simple: Your company probably isn’t going to do this.

But you can. The first rep to do this in your market will look back in three years and wonder why no one else figured it out sooner.

So, if you’re still with me, let’s keep going…

Step 2: Repeat after me: “This is NOT a sales dinner”

If you ignore this rule, you could ruin everything that follows.

Jay Abraham is a legendary business strategist. And he built his career on what he calls the Strategy of Preeminence. The main idea is simple: stop thinking of yourself as “just a salesperson.” Instead, act as a trusted advisor. Your role is to help your clients’ businesses achieve significant improvement.

Not to close deals. To improve outcomes.

To run a great dinner series, you need to really understand this. The dinner should enrich the professional lives of everyone there. Don’t mention your products or think about your sales quota during those three hours. You’re there to serve, not to sell.

If you do this consistently, the sales will come naturally.

Step 3: Choose your guest list carefully

Marty Edelston, the founder of Boardroom Inc., hosted these dinners for decades.

You can read more about Marty and his “partner-in-crime,” Brian Kurtz, and their Boardroom dinners [in that post I linked to earlier.]

These dinners became so popular that people planned their trips to New York around them. He picked guests for one reason: they had to be remarkable. Not just the biggest accounts or hottest prospects. He invited the most interesting, accomplished, and generous professionals he could find.

Your list ought to follow the same idea.

Start with your best clients, like architects, GCs, builders, developers, and distributors. Add the prospects you want to reach. Then you can mix in some of these:

• Code officials
• Energy consultants
• AIA chapter leaders
• Engineers
• Sustainability specialists
• And that local contractor everybody seems to know

Keep adding names from job site visits, trade shows, LinkedIn, and industry publications. After a few dinners, word will spread. Guests will tell their colleagues, and people will start asking how they can get invited. That’s when your dinner invitation becomes something really prestigious.

That’s the goal. That’s how you know you’re creating something special.

Step 4: Make your seating chart the night before (seriously… don’t skip this)

I know it sounds like a lot of work. (OK, it is, a little.)

But this habit is probably why these dinners create such memorable moments. In the days leading up to the dinner, look up every confirmed guest’s LinkedIn profile or bio and read them all. Then ask yourself: Who in this room should meet? Who has a problem that someone else at the table can solve, even if they don’t know it yet?

• “There’s this GC who’s been trying to break into commercial work. Let’s sit him by the architect. She’s been saying she can’t find reliable commercial contractors.”
• “How about that builder who is drowning in energy code questions? Let’s pop them here next to the consultant who answers those every single day.”

You’re not forcing deals. You’re just spotting connections. Then you seat the right people together and let the conversation happen naturally.

Brian Kurtz has hosted a TON of these events, and he insists on one essential rule:

• Use one long table in a private room with no outside noise. Don’t use round tables scattered around a restaurant. A single table creates a feeling of community you can’t get any other way.

Brian also recommends keeping the group between 15 and 22 people. With fewer, the energy drops. With more, it quickly becomes hard to manage.

Step 5: Introduce your guests to honor them

Personal introductions make these dinners unforgettable. But I know that few people will actually do them.

Before the meal, introduce each guest around the table. This way, you can share a bit about them instead of letting them introduce themselves.

Why does this matter? Because you can say things about someone that they would never say about themselves. You can tell the group why this person belongs there. Talk about their achievements, knowledge, and why everyone should listen when they speak.

That’s a special gift to give someone, especially in front of their peers.

Prepare a short note card for each guest the night before to help with these intros. Once you’ve introduced everyone, transition to the meal with a simple prompt. For example, ask, “What are you most excited about in your work right now?” or “What’s something you know that most people in this room probably don’t?”

Then let the dinner unfold naturally. Don’t force the conversation, just let it flow.

Step 6: Send a memorable follow-up package after the dinner

Within a week of each dinner, every guest gets a physical package in the mail.

Don’t just send a LinkedIn message or a quick “great to see you” email. Send a real package… Something with weight that they have to open.

Include a printed directory of all dinner guests in every package. This list should include each person’s name, company, and specialty. Add a handwritten note that highlights a specific detail from your conversation that night. Also, add something useful that relates to what was discussed at the table.

Take it a step further.

After each dinner, look over your notes. Ask yourself: What’s one introduction I could make? What one resource could I share? What problem could I help solve for each person? Then send those notes individually during the next week, with no strings attached.

Make this a habit. Give value without being asked, and expect nothing in return. That’s what makes people stop searching for other options.

It’s not because they feel locked in. It’s because they don’t want to lose you.

Step 7: Look for opportunities hiding in plain sight.

Something interesting happens when you host these dinners for a while.

You start noticing things others miss.

Every group you bring together has what Jay Abraham calls “underutilized assets.” These are untapped relationships, skills, and connections. And it’s only because the right people haven’t met yet.

For instance, there’s the GC who has idle crews each January, while the developer always needs contractors during that month. Or the architect who specializes in sustainable design and a product rep who needs credible specifiers. Or how about the distributor with an empty training room twice a week, and the association chapter looking for places to hold CEU events?

You don’t have to broker these deals yourself. Just notice the connections and send a simple email: “I keep thinking about that conversation you two had the other night. I think there might be something worth exploring. Would you be open to a short call?”

Sending that message to the right two people at the right time can be more valuable than any project you chase this year. And it all comes from the trust you built by hosting a dinner with no agenda.

That’s the whole idea. It’s simple, but few businesses will do it.

Most product reps are too busy chasing the next quote to build the kind of relationships that make quoting unnecessary. Find a partner who wants to do something special for their clients.

1. Split the cost.
2. Fill the room with interesting people.
3. Give generously.
4. Do this every three months.

And then watch how your market position changes after a year of doing this.

​
That's it for this week!

Here's to building more than just buildings, and see you next week,

Neil "I hope you try it" Sutton
​Architect | Speaker | The Product Rep Coach

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P.S. Do you really want inside an architect's head?

When you’re ready, there are 3 ways you can start working with me:

• Product reps: If you want to be better at connecting with architects, reply, and let's chat.
• Business owners or Team Leaders: You can book an Architect Connections Training for your team. Reply, and I'll send you the details.
• Speaking: If you need me to present at an upcoming group meeting, get in touch, and let’s talk!

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